Saturday, April 3, 2010

Villain Teamup!

If I were to create a league of sack ripping, face punting villains I would definitely pick these whacked out bastards...

Alonzo Harris

Training Day is one of my favorite villains of all time from one of my favorite movies. I'm usually not a huge fan of cop movies, but this one stayed with me. Alonzo plays the role of a respected skull busting hero cop...incidentally King Kong has nothing on him. He's smooth, appeals to a persons dark sensibilities is utterly devious and ruthless. Utterly self-interested he recognizes the usefulness of allies but when it comes down to the wire he's in it for himself.

Benjamin Linus

Season 6 of Lost excluded, Ben is delightfully evil, devious and lets face it...kind of funny. By no means physically imposing (despite his beat stick) Ben is a one dangerous SOB who will get way or another.


Despite the fact that I've come to dislike Marvel Comics over the last ten years or so I've never lost my fondness for this character. He has a primal spirit coupled with a type of modern sophistication. I also really like cats and cat related he gets a spot on my team.

Lex Luthor

Lex is on this list for two reasons, firstly he's bald and has never used Rogaine, spray-on hair or placed the corpse of a dead animal on his scalp. Secondly, he became president...probably by rigging the voting machines in Ohio. Plus...he now has an orange lantern ring...which is pretty cool I guess.

Mr. Burns
My villain team needs corporate backing so that's where Mr. Burns comes in. I'm not so sure how he will get along with Lex, I guess we'll have to wait and see. Having a nuclear power plant at my team's disposal is also a know...for making mutants and what not. However, we'll have to be careful...he's often undone by idiocy.

Bob "Ganghis" Khan

I include Mr. Khan for thee reasons, firstly he's a blood crazed barbarian face smasher, secondly he commands a horde of blood crazed barbarian face smashing horseman and thirdly he's a military genius. Also, the group needed a little more muscle...

Ann Coulter
Skeletor wasn't available so I picked a loot I suppose my group needed a woman. Who better than this soulless witch? While she openly shows no powers, no intellect, ninja skills or anything really of merit...I got to imagine she's hiding something...

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